Out With The Old, In With The New!
by Missy Tina
Summary: This takes place in the sixth year of Hogwarts. Its a Harry Potter/Yu-gi-oh crossover. Its pretty funny. Some new Professors will be teaching at Hogwarts, Maximillion Pegasus just being one of them! If you read and review a lot, you get nudes! Kisses! :
1. Troubled Times and A very Sad Hagrid!

The old man sat at his desk. His head was bowed, his long silver hair falling into his brilliant blue eyes. He looked deeply concerned and lost in thought. The door to the office swung open and in walked an older woman. She wore beautiful emerald green robes and had her black hair twisted back in a bun on top of her head. The man at the desk had yet to notice her arrival. He was still lost deep in thought. The woman stood over him for a minute, then made an impatient noise.

"Albus Dumbledore! How long are you going to shut yourself up in this room? Come down for dinner this instant! Its being served to the teachers that have arrived in the Great Hall," The woman said.

The man looked up, smiling faintly.

"Ah, Professor McGonnagall. I didn't hear you come in. What did you say about dinner?" Dumbledore asked.

"Come down to the Great Hall, and eat! I don't remember the last time I saw you eat Albus!" McGonnagall said, glaring at him like he was a naughty child she had to punish.

Albus smiled faintly at her.

:My dear Professsor, I'm not the least bit hungry. There are some things more important then food on my mind," He said in a sad voice.

Professor McGonnagall tilted her head, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

"What is wrong with you Albus?" She demanded.

Dumbledore sighed.

"So you haven't learned what happened...I figured you wouldn't...but one never knows..."

Professor McGonnagall sighed with impatience.

"Do tell me what you're going on about Albus! What has happened to make you so upset?" She asked.

Dumbledore looked her straight in the eyes. His own blue eyes were missing their usual twinkling brightness.

"A very terrible thing has happened Minervia. Professor Flitwick...is dead," Professor Dumbledore said in a grave voice.

Professor McGonnagall gasped.

"Filius! But...how...what...Albus how did that happen?" McGonangall asked, her eyes wide with hurt and disbelief.

"It..was terrible. I just recently learned what happened myself. He went, as usual, to his summer home. It happened there. He was attacked by Death Eaters," Dumbledore said in a low voice.

McGonnagall held her hand to her throat. She seemed unable to speak. Her eyes were still wide with horror over this news. She sunk into a chair in front of Dumbledore's desk. Dumbledore sighed.

"Filius was a tragic loss. He was a great man, a loyal friend, and an irreplacable teacher," Dumbledore said.

McGonnagall nodded.

"I simply can't imagine anyone else teaching Charms!" McGonnagall said in a low voice.

"Nor can I Minervia, nor can I. But alas, I must find a new teacher for that subject," Dumbledore said in a grave voice.

"Albus! Who could possibly replace Filius?" McGonnagall asked.

"That is exactly what I am pondering Minerva." Dumbledore said solemnly.

Minerva scrunched her forehead up.

"It is an impossible task! No one could match him in his skills!" She said.

"Quite true, but we can not-" Dumbledore began, but was cut off as his office door was flung violently open.

In came Reubus Hagrid with tears pouring down his face.

"DDDDUMBLEDDDDDDORE! ISSSS IT TRU'?" Hagrid cried and shook violently as his gigantic tears poured down his face.

Dumbledore just sighed and shook his head. "I presume you are referring to Professor Flitwick's death?" He asked in a heavy voice.

Hagrid's eyes got wide. "HE'S DEAD!!" He bellowed and started to cry again and ran to Dumbledore's side for a comforting hug.

Dumbledore patted him on the back.

"There there, it will be alright, this too shall pass," Dumbledore said soothingly.

Hagrid sniffled and wiped his gigantic tears on Dumbledore's nice blue robes. "GOOD MAN!" He bellowed again and started crying violently.

Dumbledore stared down at the huge tear stains on his periwinkle blue robes and smiled. "Another robe ruined, but that is alright," He said with a smile.

"OHHH NOOOO! I JUSS KEEP RUININ' EVERYTING!" Hagrid cried and sat down in a chair that he proceeded to crush with his weight. "OHHH NOOOO! THE CHAIR IS BROKE!" He cried again.

McGonnagall shook her head, staring at Hagrid with a nervous look on her face.

"I shall...go..inform the other teachers..." She said, then got up and walked quickly away.

"How...DID...HE...DIE??" Hagrid choked out from beneath his tears.

"Attacked by Death Eaters. Apparently Lord Voldermort's wrath will stop at nothing to crush those who oppose him," Dumbledore said sadly.

"Voldemort..." Hagrid muttered through gritted teeth and looked positively mad.

Dumbledore chuckled. "Yes Hagrid, yes. Now, I must find a new teacher for Charms," Dumbledore said.

Hagrid stared at Dumbledore then started to cry again. "NO ONE GOES TER ME CLASS NO MORE!" He cried and tried wiping his tears on his short sleeves.

"I am truly sorry Hagrid, truly. But at least the younger grades are still required to take your class, just forget about the older kids," Dumbledore advised.

Hagrid shook his head no. "BUT HARRY! HARRY'S IN TER OLDER GRADE!" He cried.

Dumbledore sighed. "Harry..." He said softly. looking off into the distance.

"MY BEST FRIEND HARRY! FANG MISSES HIM TOO I KNOW HE DOES!" Hagrid yelled violently and nodded at Dumbledore like they were old college buddies remembering all the chicks they got...BACK IN THE DAY.

Dumbledore did not seem to be listening or looking at Hagrid. His mind was back in the clouds. He nodded to himself.

"Yes...I think she will do.." He said quietly.

"Hermoine?" Hagrid asked looking bewildered.

"No no man, Hermonie could never teach charms. I think I have someone in mind though..if she will do it..." Dumbledore said.

Hagrid's eyes got wide. "To replace...me?"

"Shut up Hagrid," Said one of the pictures on the wall.

"NO YOU SHUT UP OLD MAN! COME DOWN 'ERE AND I'LL GIVE YOU A PIECE OF ME MIND! OHHHH THATS RIGHT. YOU CAN'T! YOU'RE A PICTURE! HA HA HA!" Hagrid said and grrrr'd at him.

Dumbledore was still in thoughtful silence, thinking of the troubled days to come. Then the door opened again, and in walked Severus Snape, his black robes billowing.

"Flitwick's dead hu?" Snape asked in an emotionless voice.

"WHY DO YA CARE!" Hagrid yelled and stared at him with his big eyes looking like a bull seeing red.

Severus cackled and sneered at him. Then he walked over to Dumbledore's desk and inspected his hand. It was all black and withered looking, like it had died.

"Have you been taking the potion I gave you?" Snape demanded of Dumbledore.

"I would take anything that you asked me too Severus." Dumbledore said with a smile.

Snape raised an eyebrow, then nodded.

"Fine. Whatever. Good day," He said and walked away.

Dumbledore waved to him til he was out of the door, then went back to thoughtful silence. Hagrid looked around suspiciously. Thing seemed out of the ordinary. He wondered who this new...Charms teacher would be. Well, she would never win him over! Never! His loyalty would always belong to dear departed Professor Flitwick! _I sure hope that she's a nice person to the kids,_ Hagrid thought, _especially Harry. Man, I sure love Harry. I wouldn't want to hit a girl again. Not like last year. _

Dumbledore nodded again to himself, then got up. It was time to face the music._  
_


	2. Dead of Night

Dumbledore was twiddling his fingers as he walked, well, maybe only on one hand. But he was still doing it. Professor McGonnagall came up behind him.

"Albus!" She yelled. causing him to jump.

"Ah, Minerva. My dear. How may I help you?" He asked.

"What have you decided about the new teacher to replace Filius?" McGonnagall asked with a weird look in her eye.

"I have someone in mind. She's very young, but I know she's more then capable of doing the job," Dumbledore said.

"Young hu? I hope you aren't trying to do anything funny with me still alive, ALBUS!" McGonnagall said, with a tiny smirk.

Dumbledore laughed.

"You know, sometimes your name reminds me of McDonalds," Dumbledore said with a chuckle, "but anyways. Yes."

McGonnagall had no idea what this McDonalds was. But she laughed and playfully pretended to hit him in the face but actually just wanted to stroke his beard.

"Get out there tiger, they need answers." McGonnagall said and nodded.

Dumbledore nodded and quickly strolled into the Great Hall. There the teachers were assembled. Dumbledore was surprised at how many teachers had showed up, it was only July. Usually, the only teachers that remained during the summer holidays were Snape, McGonnagall, and himself. Most should have been out enjoying the summer days. But then again, news did travel fast. They must have heard about the tragic news.

Dumbledore nodded at them and walked past them to go sit in his chair as he prepared himself to answer all of their questions.

"DUMBLEDORE! When did it happen?" Madame Hooch asked, she looked like she had been through hell. Some outsider would have thought she was involved with Filius.

"I am not sure when it happened. His body was discovered two days ago. The dark mark was over his home," Dumbledore said sadly.

"Did his children see?" Professor Sprout asked nervously.

"Of course not. He doesn't have children," Dumbledore said with a chuckle.

Sprout nodded.

Severus Snape was lurking around everybody and nodding.

"Did he have a wife?" Severus asked on one side, then quickly lurked over to the other. As if he didn't just ask that.

"No." Dumbledore replied.

Severus did a victory dance, thinking that at least there was still hope for him. But then ducked down and scurried away to the other part of the room, as if he didn't just break out in dance.

"Why was he so short?" Asked Trelawny.

McGonnagall snorted.

"What? Your 'inner eye' can't answer that question for you?" She asked with a smirk as she sat down next to Dumbledore.

Trelawny just stared at Dumbledore in wonder. McGonnagall gave her a nasty look and sipped her iced pumpkin juice.

The teachers kept Dumbledore there for hours. There were asking the most stupid questions. It was as if they hadn't known Flitwick at all.

All the sudden Madame Hooch laughed.

"Do you all remember Professor Quirrell? He used to talk to himself when he thought no one was lookin!" She laughed and smirked.

Everyone had a good laugh about that then went back to serious talk.

"When's the funeral?" Trelawny asked and stared at Dumbledore with a dreamy expression.

"It is this evening. And since it is, I really must be going to attend to matters." Dumbledore said.

Then he got up, and looking like a man on a mission, walked out of the Great Hall.

"I'm in love with him!" Trelawny screeched and ran away into the next room.

* * *

It was a special day in Harry Potter world. Everyone felt it. He felt it all up in his indian grill. It was way too deep to turn back now. It was the dead of night. Hahahahaa. Dumbledore knew it to be true. He had felt it for years. It was time to just come out in the open and express his feelings. NOW TIME FOR STALLING! TIME FOR ACTION!!!!

It was going to be tough. So tough. It would take every banana he had in his pocket. But Dumbledore had nerves of steel and BUNS of steel. Never fear. Severus Snape was by his side. So all would be well. He walked like a man on a mission with Snape at his side. They walked down the quiet streets of the muggle neighborhood, looking like thugs.

"SEV!" Dumbledore yelled.

Severus Snape scowled at him. "What is it Albus?" He asked in a bored voice.

"I want spaghetti!" Dumbledore declared.

Severus gave him a look.

"Now Albus. We've been over this. Didn't we agree that you give up on spaghetti?" Severus asked in a stern voice as he gave him a look of disdain.

Dumbledore scoffed. "Excuses excuses! You are just jealous! YOU want my spaghetti!" Dumbldeore accused, looking very angry.

Severus scoffed. "I fucking hate spaghetti! You know that Albus! And I want you to give it up! Its unhealthy!" Severus said with a scowl.

Dumbledore just smiled a goofy smile. He tilted his purple wizard hat over his left eye and did a pimp sign.

"Hows it lookin for me Sev?" Dumbledore asked and winked.

Severus shook his head. "You are absolutely ridiculous. I cannot stand here and watch you make such a foolish mistake," Severus said.

Dumbledore sighed. "I CANNOT STAND IT! I just cannot!" He yelled in agony and withered around as he walked.

Severus just shook his head and continued walking down the dark, empty street. It was past 10 0'clock. All The people on Privet Drive were tucked away sleepily in their houses.

Well. Almost all of them that is.

A group of hooligans were prowling up ahead. They looked dangerous. Very dangerous. They were big. And tough. And they were all wearing HOODIES! Dumbledore felt the FEAR because he KNEW that he couldn't handle hooligan thugs dressed in HOODIES! They would eat him alive.

"Sev," Dumbledore whispered, "don't panic, but look ahead!"

Severus looked up. He saw a group of teenagers walking. They were laughing and acting a fool. Severus shook his head. Dumbledore had an intense fear of teenagers.

"Its ok Albus. They won't hurt you," Severus said, his lip curling in disdain as he looked at the old man.

"I am a pimp," Dumbledore told him and nodded solemnly. He kept whispering "I am a pimp," repeatedly as if to reassure himself.

Severus sighed and shook his head. He didn't need this shit. He could be at home right now reading his book on Love Potions and curling his hair. It was his secret saturday ritual. He did it every weekend. He spent hours curling his hair and practicing "come hither" looks in the mirror as he studied Love Potions. Oh man was he angry. He needed to be home!

All the sudded Dumbledore let out a screech like a wounded gorilla and charged ahead. "YOU WILL NEVER STEAL MY JOB!" Dumbledore screamed as he ran at the group of teenagers. Severus sighed and shook his head. Here we go again, he thought.

The group, it seemed, were in total shock. They just stood there, as the crazy old man with long white hair and a beard charged at them, screeching and making choo choo train sounds.

"YOU WILL NEVER KILL MY ASPIRATIONS! YOU WILL NEVER MAKE A CITIZEN OUT OF ME! THE DRUGS NEVER WORK! THEY JUST KEEP ME ALIVE AT NIGHT WHEN I'M IN MY BED ALONE WITH THE DEMONS!" Dumbledore screamed in rage as he ran at them.

A girl with wavy dark brown hair and soft brown eyes stepped forward.

"What the fuck is your problem?" The girl demanded.

"YOU COULD CARE LESS!" Dumbledore yelled and striked a violent pose.

The girl started laughing hysterically. "Oh my god," She muttered as she laughed so hard.

Dumbledore pushed her and screamed "YOU WILL NEVER EVER MAKE ME BLOOD! YOU WILL NEVER EVER STEAL MY CLOTHES!"

The girl was laughing so fucking hard. "Bitch Ima cut you!" She yelled as she laughed.

"Oh no! Sev! They are armed!" Dumbledore screamed and huddled in a little ball on the floor.

As he said this, a very short girl with long straight brown hair and blue eyes fell down laughing hysterically at the sight of the senile old man before her.

"Psyche!" Dumbledore yelled and attacked the girls ankles. He bit them and scratched and clawed and kept screeching like a banshee the entire time.

Severus sighed and walked up to them. "Albus, you must stop this foolishness," Severus said.

"Take off your shirt!" Dumbldore screamed and knocked Severus over to the ground.

Dumbledore then proceeded to beat the shit out of the two teenage girls. He ripped off their clothes and screamed "Its time for the RAPE MACHINEE!!!"

A girl with crazy blonde curls and piercing electric blue eyes started to beat the fuck out of Severus on the ground. We aren't really sure why either. Another blonde girl was shaking her head. "He looks like Gandalf!" The girl said as she looked at the crazed Dumbledore.

At this Dumbledore abandoned the two girls he was beating and proceeded to crawl ontop of the other blonde girl and slap her repeatedly in the face. "Fucking skank" Dumbledore said and bit her hair.

A guy with dark brown hair and bright blue eyes, with an arrogant look on face was just smiling proudly at the crazy blonde, not really too concerned with the others. He really didn't even notice who was getting beat up anymore. Everyone around him was getting attacked and trampled on. It was mass hysteria. Children were dying. The elderly were coming outside. Not really children dying, but you get the picture. A rather tall guy with black hair and blue eyes, finally decided it was time to get in and help out the other blonde, her name is Christina. The old senile Dumbledore was very out of breathe and tired. He seemed to think that he was the one that was attacked.

"You monsters!" Dumbldore screamed and started to cry.

The crazy blonde chick named Cassie was still beating the fuck out of Severus. We really aren't too sure why, but hey she was having the time of her life. Finally a guy with spikey dark brown hair and blue eyes decided to walk up and pull her off of the greasy arab man.

"That's enough babe," The guy, who is James, said. He was husky.

Cassie rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"You always try to stop me you fucking bitch," She muttered rather angrily.

"Why you gotta do that? I was enjoying myself!" The guy with the long brown hair that was watching Cassie proudly said. His name is Damien. He gets very happy when she beats up others.

"Excuse me guys, but what the fuck just happened? I'm still puzzled as to why this all occured? PSYCHOS!" The guy that helped Christina out, Tom yelled.

The girl on the ground still laughing was named Piper. She's still soooo amused!

"tom you rapist!" Christna yelled.

Dumbledore nodded at her like he had found a fellow but then he shuddered and started rocking back and forth and crying.

"I am so not happy!" Dumbledore yelled.

"Bitch I'm gonna fuck you up. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Cassie demanded as she stepped on his face.

"TEENAGERS ARE SO GROSSS!" Dumbldore cried.

Cassie looked really puzzled and continued to step on his face.

Severus finally came around. "This is so messed up!" Severus said toughly.

"What the fuck? Severus, you are just my mommy." Dumbledore said.

"Shut the fuck up Albus. You just got us into serious trouble!" Severus said, then laughed.

"THEY STARTED IT!" Dumbledore yelled and looked at them all hatefully.

The girl with wavy dark brown hair, who is named Ryan, got up.

"Let's sue," She said and nodded at Cassie.

"Fuck yes. After I fuck his ass up a lil bit," Cassie said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I WILL MAKE AMMENDS!!!" Dumbledore yelled drammatically.

"Come...to...my...school...of...magic!" Dumbledore whispred.

They agreed.

The end.

For now.

hahahaha

must smoke.

love it.

love you

not you

but you

yeah

hahahahaha


End file.
